What do our children play?
I remember a few years ago I came across an interesting article that the first meaningfully selected toys by a child as favorite (i.e., not those that are used to occupy themselves, but those with which they sleep and share experiences) are reflection of the children themselves.
Projection, so to speak. Some people have hares, some have dogs, some have bears … Developing this thought, I can say that by analyzing your child’s favorite toys, you can better understand yourself and discuss with them the strengths and weaknesses of their favorite. For example, a child who chooses a dog is kind, brave, open, friendly. But also superficial, energetic, overly agile, easily trusts everyone and easily falls under the influence.
A child who prefers a bunny is obedient, calm, but timid, fearful, and very attached to his parents. A child who prefers a bear is, by analogy with this animal, strong, strong (at least in spirit), but stubborn and may not always control his negative emotions. A child who adores a cat is a gentle, intelligent, cheerful, but at the same time independent, independent and “on his mind” difficulty in giving in to adult pressure, making it all in the end in his own way.
A child who chooses dolls and not animals – in 99% of cases this is a home girl, concentrating on relationship problems, thoughtful, very feminine, but dependent on other people’s opinions and easily vulnerable. Why does such projection occur at the age of 2−4 years?
Most likely, on the basis of ideas about animals and fairy-tale characters derived from the stories of adults. The child himself chooses a companion who is close in spirit. But at the very young age, that is, under the age of 2, such a choice can be imposed by parents who, because of their own inclinations, buy a child of 16 bears, without really thinking about what it means. As for the toys of children of preschool age – that is, from 4–5 years old, there is a clear sexual separation of objects: girls – dolls and saucepans, boys – toy soldiers and pistols. However, is it really all the same, and is it really all the same what exactly the children will play within the framework of the above trends?
For a long time I naively thought that pistols from childhood was a direct way to killers. However, this kind of maximalism quickly passed – life made its own corrections: since I have a boy who (it is inevitable!) Communicates with his own kind, then without guns there is no way. Yes, we do not buy pistols with bullets, and in general we only started pistols from the age of 5, not earlier, but before that age they were not in the house either – not because of the ban, but not like him. But now a thirst for “military” games in the yard has awakened – friends are playing, he is also interested.
Stupidly forbid – unrealistic and stupid. Therefore, it is necessary to redirect the boy’s activity: than to water each other from water pistols or bullets bullet with the risk of knocking out the eyes – let them shoot at targets. Targets can either be painted to children, or choose available from the first available objects around, guided by the principle “do no harm”: the main thing is to choose such an interest – any fool can get into the car, it is big, (and the owner will be against it) and in a knot on a tree – you have to train. It is advisable to conclude an iron contract – do not shoot alive, including ants.
After all, children, in principle, do not care where to heal – so that they only bully each other or around the neighboring cats when adults are also concerned. As for computer games, in all the families I know, where children play shooters, they do it precisely at the suggestion of adults — either the father or the older brothers taught them, and they often play with the whole family. If the parents are really against such games and are able to reasonably convey their position – the games do not take root in the house, even if “everyone plays around.” Playing the war game “in real life” is normal.
This is a role-playing game, developing tactics, interaction skills, and a certain healthy dose of aggressiveness: after all, if the child is raised in an atmosphere of fanatical pacifism and complete non-resistance to evil by violence, the child can get very serious difficulties of socialization in the children’s team. In general, about weapons, my approach is as follows: one cannot develop aggression purposefully. If an aggressive component is present in a child, and not so weakly, then to encourage this aspect, to develop this line to lawlessness imprudently. He will be a fighter anyway, he will not be offended anyway. And if we see that the makings be healthy, you can not pedal it – you can get Tyson in the end, sorry for the analogy.
That is, if the child is quite aggressive, it is unreasonable on the part of the parents to purchase a myriad of weapons and admit to aggressive computer games. But if the psyche is stable – you can play, if not for long. Children are different, so the effect of the same games is different. If a child has a lot of other interests besides the war, well, he will play it, and switch to another game. But if it is “stuck” on a war, then why encourage it?